Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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