well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
