He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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