You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
