Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
