Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw a hot homeless man
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
