I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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