i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
