I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i've created a new STD.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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