bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
