I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
