In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
