I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
