So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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