ugly people sure do ruin things
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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