I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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