haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
