Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
