I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
