Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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