Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
