She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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