K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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