we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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