guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worst night to have a conscience
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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