Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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