FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
