new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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