New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
