So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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