I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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