The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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