She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
