We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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