hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
