Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
