why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
