Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i out mim tonsoeep
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