Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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