I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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