Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
