Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
