i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize