she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
