I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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