All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you traded sex for a burrito?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
