I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
