Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
