Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
