I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize