it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
