I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
