I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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