I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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