i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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