He kissed a someone with a penis
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
