you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
