1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
