that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
