I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
