He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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