This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
