wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
