dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
