FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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