the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
