i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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