My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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